MOTIVATIONAL STUFF AND WHY IS IT NOT WORKING FOR YOU!

Even after consuming 100s of self- help books, binge-watching 1000s of motivational videos and having a healthy dosage of one quote every day, my life’s success graph did not move even an inch in the direction of my goals!

Do you also feel the same?

If we imagine our life as a basketball court, inspiring thoughts as a ball,  unconscious part of the brain as a basket and success as a scoreboard, no matter how many shots we make, it looks like as if the scoreboard has not registered even a single score.

BUT WHY WOULD THAT HAPPEN?

Are not we told since childhood that the moment we begin reading a book, our life will miraculously change?

You might argue that I need to change my strategy and might actually go to a seminar. And I will tell you that I have but in a few days, my overzealous attitude is subdued, my enthusiasm is evaporated and I am back to zero.

This reminds me of Sanjeev Kapoor’s show - Khaana Khazaana (Food treasure, sounds bit awkward). I might not be a good cook, but yes, I have done all the watching #Foodporn. So, my mother and Masi (my mother’s sister) would sit together, watch the entire show, right down all the recipe with innumerable ingredients in exact quantity… yes, write down!  These are the days when Google and Youtube were still a mystery… So, the point was that they would do all the preparation and we as little kids would be extremely excited to taste a new delicious dish. However, after all the Mehnat (hard work) and Tamasha( right word would be chaos) in the kitchen, the dish would never turn out to be the same. We would check and recheck the list but no matter how many times we redo the dish it always misses that wow factor. Forget the taste, would not look even close to the dish on the show.

Let’s come back to our question… But why would that happen? Why can we see, touch and read thoughts and ideas for hours and hours, with full concentration but cannot make them do wonders for us as they do for others...

Let’s look for the possible reasons that why we are unable to apply what we read or watch -

1)    AN INDULGENCE - Reading makes us feel good but the actually performing a task is whole another game. Research claims that any kind of new information gives us a rush of dopamine and hence, a sense of pleasure and high.

2)    HOURGLASS ILLUSION - Watching a video hardly takes 10-20 mins. Reading a book, depending on your reading speed and the number of pages might take you maximum a month. Ok, fine! Take 3 months. I got the point that you love to skip reading every now and then. But applying a principle or a habit takes much more time. The habit formation rule of 21 days most of the times fail and you easily relapse back to your old habits, even after practicing for 6 months.

3)    EFFORTS GIVE RESULTS - No! in these days of 4G I don’t count watching a motivational video as hard work.  Books are available right on your Kindle and you don’t have to even go out to buy a book. Social media platforms are filled with inspiring quotes. So, all you have done is just scrolled through your timeline which you anyway do at least 10 times in a day. Effort means going out of our comfort zone, effort means pain and actually taking steps to put theory into practice.

4)    MISSING THE CRUX - Have you seen a child eating corn and spinach sandwich. The child will slowly and slyly remove all the vegetables filled with nutritional value and in the end, all that he eats is bread and sauces. You are also doing the same… Let me explain!  You read every single word of the book carefully. You have even read it three times. But it is still not working and you know why… because mostly in all the motivational stuff, there is a “Tasks to do” section after every chapter. That blank space given below the question is not a signpost for you to rest and relax! It is meant for actually writing the answers to reflect on your current life. This is the most essential part of the book or video because it is here you bridge the gap between your life and the wisdom shared by the author. It is here you are trained to apply all the principles. 

Of course, the self-help industry is booming at a rocket speed and you might have millions of choices.   Every single day I hear people criticizing self-help gurus, calling this industry a sham. Few might be fooling the world but like any other field, it’s not right to generalize. We all are individuals with different journeys and every inspiring line that has been ever written might not be work for you. You might question its beliefs on every single page but acknowledge the insights, not according to your convenience but as per your requirement.

 I am not asking you to pick up every single book and read it. I am asking you to pick up the one that resonates with your need and give it your heart and soul.  And you will definitely find the ONE, I mean the book. Because as they say,

“The master appears when the student is ready”